Top 42+ Best More Funny Sex Quotes-Funny Quotes about Sex,Sayings

 Top 42+ Best More Funny Sex Quotes-Funny Quotes about Sex,Sayings:

funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex:-

“Don’t have sex with the windows open. Love may be blind but the neighbors aren’t.”  funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex

— Shawn Alff funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”

— George Burns funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex

funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex
Top 42+ Best More Funny Sex Quotes-Funny Quotes about Sex,Sayings

“Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain’t over ’til you both get your cookie.” funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex

— Alec Baldwin funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex

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“If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.”

— Rodney Dangerfield funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


“Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.”
— Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis


“Really, sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered – and I still do – which is more important.”
— Hermione Gingold funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


“There are three sexes — men, women, and clergymen.”
— Sydney Smith funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


“I started out to be a sex fiend, but I couldn’t pass the physical.”
— Robert Mitchum


“Sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope you don’t multiply.”
— Phil Proctor funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


“Erotica is using a feather; pornography is using the whole chicken.”
— Isabel Allende funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex:-

funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex
Top 42+ Best More Funny Sex Quotes-Funny Quotes about Sex,Sayings

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
— George Burns 


“The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.”
— Woody Allen


“Men like women with a past because they hope history will repeat itself.” 
— Mae West


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“I wish I had as much in bed as I get in the newspapers.”
— Linda Ronstadt


“Sex — the poor man’s polo.”
— Clifford Odets


“If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex.”
— Kate Beckinsale


“Sexual intercourse began in nineteen sixty-three (Which was rather late for me) between the end of the Chatterley ban and the Beatles’ first LP.”
— Philip Larkin


“Evolution has programmed our brains to find two things particularly interesting, and therefore memorable: jokes and sex – and especially, it seems, jokes about sex.”

— Joshua Foer


“I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life.”

— Mitch Hedberg


“A man is basically as faithful as his options.”

– Chris Rock


funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex:-

funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex
Top 42+ Best More Funny Sex Quotes-Funny Quotes about Sex,Sayings

“Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.”

— Billy Crystal


“Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.”
— Camille Paglia


“Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You’re only interested in one thing,” and you can’t remember what it is.”
— Milton Berle

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“Never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.”
— Gore Vidal


“Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.”
— John Barrymore


“My wife likes to talk to me during sex. In fact, the other day she called
me from a motel.”
— Scotty Record


“If God’s got anything better than sex to offer, he’s certainly keeping it to himself.”
— Sting


“Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.”
— Fran Liebowitz


“My sex life is very bad. If it weren’t for pickpockets I’d have no sex life at all.”
— Henny Youngman


“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!”
— Drew Carey


“Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.”
— Arthur C. Clarke


“Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.”
— Bob Hope


funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex:-

funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex
Top 42+ Best More Funny Sex Quotes-Funny Quotes about Sex,Sayings

“I’m glad I’m not bisexual. I couldn’t stand being rejected by men as well as women.”
— Bernard Manning


“My wife is a sex object – every time I ask for sex, she objects.”
— Les Dawson


“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
— Robin Williams


“Studies show that about half of Americans have sex at work. Coincidentally, that’s the same half that say they are happy with their jobs.” funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex
— Melanie White funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, “the man goes on top and the woman underneath”. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.”
— Joan Rivers funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


“If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?” funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex
— Bette Midler funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


“Sex… the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.”
— Lord Chesterfield


“I am always looking for meaningful one night stands.”

–– Dudley Moore funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


“I need sex for a clear complexion, but I’d rather do it for love.”

— Joan Crawford funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


“Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.”

— Emma Chase funny-sex-quotes-funny-quotes-sex


“Once you finish having sex, what is there to do but start over?”

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